In an effort to focus on providing High Quality Concierge Care for our patients and to protect privacy of records, we do not accept insurance.

Concierge Care Exclusively Tailored for the Clinical Needs and Coaching Demands of Professional Men, Executives, Entrepreneurs, Attorneys, Physicians & Surgeons.

Concierge Care Exclusively Tailored for the Clinical Needs and Coaching Demands of Professional Men, Executives, Entrepreneurs, Attorneys, Physicians & Surgeons.

unnamed (7)

Identifying the Stages of Grief

Loss is a normal part of life. Whether you’re facing a divorce, the loss of a loved one, or a severe illness, learning to live with grief is an integral part of emotional repair as you age. 

Just as no two people age quite the same way or at the same pace, grief is also an incredibly personal, individual journey that can look and feel different for everyone. The grief process is not set in stone, and there’s not a right or wrong way to grieve. 

The Stages of Grief

Although we all have our own grief journeys, there is a map that outlines the stages and patterns of grief to help us identify where we’re at in the process.

Denial

When facing a loss of some kind, our first reaction is often denial. We tend to tell ourselves things like, “No, that can’t be true,” “Maybe the doctor made a mistake and misdiagnosed me,” “Maybe they mixed up my test with someone else’s,” or “I don’t believe her. My spouse wouldn’t cheat on me.” 

When you’re in denial, you’re not facing actual reality but rather your preferred reality. As counterintuitive as it may seem, denial is actually healthy and eventually helps us accept and face our grief. Denial helps to cushion the initial shock until you are able to acclimate to it. 

In essence, dental helps to buy you time. Often the shock of a loss is so great in the beginning that the full impact of it can be staggering. Denial is a natural defense mechanism that softens the blow and allows you to face the loss bit by bit instead of all at once. 

Once the initial shock starts to fade, denial can lessen, allowing the suppressed feelings to come to the surface. 

Anger

When you exit the preferable reality that is created in the denial stage and enter actual reality, it’s common for anger to start setting in. During the anger stage, it’s common to think, “Why me?” or “Life isn’t fair.” You may also lash out at those around you or blame others for your loss. 

But, it’s important to realize that anger isn’t actually the primary emotion you’re feeling. It’s secondary to feelings of betrayal, abandonment, frustration and fear. These deeper feelings make us feel more vulnerable, but the anger gives you a sense of power — if only just for the moment — motivating us to take action on our own or something else’s behalf. 

Not only does anger help you feel like you have some measure of control in a situation that you would otherwise feel powerless in, but it also helps to temporarily shield you from the deeper truth. 

People often think of anger as a negative emotion, but it’s actually a healthy and necessary part of the grieving process that helps to bind you to reality. It’s important to really feel your anger and recognize that it’s a natural step toward healing. 

Bargaining

When you’re facing a loss, you might find yourself thinking that you’d be willing to do just about anything to reverse it and go back to the way things were before. This is called the bargaining stage. 

Experiencing a loss can make you feel incredibly helpless and vulnerable. Bargaining is your way of looking to regain some level of control over the situation — that you have the ability to affect the outcome. Bargaining is a falsely hopeful stag that helps to postpone the sometimes overwhelming feelings of confusion, hurt and sadness that accompany loss. 

Bargaining can also be coupled with feelings of guilt. If you’re facing the loss of a romantic partner, for example, you might think, “If only I had made more time for him, he wouldn’t have left.” 

In order to heal, it’s essential to examine these feelings of guilt further and more consciously to determine your accountability in the situation, or if familiar patterns of self-blame are behind them. 

Depression

Once you move past denial, anger and bargaining, you also move past all of the mechanisms designed to shield you from the full impact of the loss. Overwhelmed with the feeling associated with the loss, it’s common to become depressed.

Not to be confused with clinical depression, the depression stage of the grief cycle can be totally natural and appropriate for many people. The intense feelings of sadness during the depression stage can leave you feeling vulnerable, fatigued, confused or distracted. You may have trouble eating or sleeping, or not be able to enjoy things that used to bring you joy.

Although depression is a normal part of the grieving process, it’s important not to let yourself get stuck here. If you find yourself wavering in the depression stage, talk with a psychologist or other mental health expert who can help you work through it. 

Acceptance

The final stage of grief is acceptance. A lot of people are under the misconception that acceptance means that you’ve moved past the loss or gotten over your grief — that it’s an uplifting or happy stage. 

If you’re in the acceptance phase after you’ve just lost your spouse, for example, instead of saying, “He can’t really be gone,” or, “If only I had worked fewer hours, he would still be here,” you may say something like, “I’m so grateful that we had so many years together.” 

Unfortunately, acceptance doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re over it and ready to move on. It simply means that you’ve accepted it. Instead of being passive or attempting to change the situation, you’re merely present, learning to live with and adjust to your new reality. 

Turn to Blair Wellness Group for Grief Support

Feelings associated with grief can be overwhelming and incredibly uncomfortable. Although you may just want to ignore it, sometimes, acknowledging and talking about your feelings can help you move through them and cope. 

Dr. Cassidy Blair of Blair Wellness Group is a licensed clinical psychologist who can provide you with the support you need throughout the grieving process. We serve clients in Beverly Hills, Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Brentwood, West Hollywood, and the surrounding areas. Schedule your appointment today.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related Blog

When Someone With Narcissistic Personality Disorder Should Seek Help

Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or NPD, is a serious Mental Health Condition that requires professional intervention and treatment. If you do not address this Mental Health Disorder with a Licensed Clinical Psychologist, the symptoms will worsen and create increasingly severe consequences throughout your life. However, it is not always easy to tell when the problems you

Signs a Loved One May Be Hiding an Addiction

If someone you know has an Addiction Disorder, it impacts your life as well. The symptoms of Addiction Disorders are not always easy to spot early on, but they come to impact every aspect of a person’s life—including their work, hobbies, and relationships. Being able to identify the symptoms of an Addiction Disorder means being

The Importance of Seeking Treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder?

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a Mental Health Disorder that distorts thought patterns and affects your ability to regulate your emotions. As a result, individuals with BPD experience severe symptoms such as intense mood swings, shifting goals, volatile behavior, impulsivity, lack of sense of self, poor self-esteem, self-injurious behaviors, Addiction Issues, Mood Disorders, lack of

Looking for a Local Psychologist?

Our Psychologists and Therapists in Los Angeles, Beverly Hills, Irvine, Newport Beach, and the surrounding areas offer evening and weekend appointments for our Concierge patients. Contact us today to discover how Blair Wellness Group can help you overcome personal or professional challenges and mental health disorders, such as depression, anxiety, relationship challenges, addiction issues, and personality disorders. 

Scroll to Top

Request An Appointment

  • MM slash DD slash YYYY
  • Cancellation/Refund Policy:

    Please note, there are absolutely NO refunds for ANY of your prepaid sessions in case of broken appointments by you as the professional times and days were reserved for you and will be considered as broken appointments. We ask that you do not make appointments unless you fully intend to keep all your future weekly appointments as we do not issue refunds on ANY prepaid appointment. Please note, our practice is fully committed based on previously scheduled times for our clients at least 2 weeks in advance.
  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.