Narcissistic Personality Disorder, also known as NPD, is a Mental Health Disorder that revolves around a false sense of arrogance and self-importance. Individuals with NPD often demand special treatment, put their own needs and wants before anyone else’s, and struggle to empathize with others.
NPD affects more than just the individual with the disorder. It also has an impact on their friends, family, and romantic partners. Without intervention, NPD can lead to narcissistic abuse between partners. Learn more about NPD and the signs you may be suffering from narcissistic abuse with this guide.
The Relationship Gets Serious Quickly
Individuals with NPD can be extremely charismatic. In the early stages of a connection, they often come across as charming and affectionate. If someone with NPD finds you worth their time, they will do a lot to keep you around and grow close to you. This behavior can include buying you gifts, staying in touch, and checking in often.
These behaviors can seem sweet and exciting at the start of a relationship. However, you might also feel that the relationship is becoming serious and moving faster than normal. Your partner might take you on vacations or even ask you to make significant life changes together, such as moving in, combining bank accounts, or even getting engaged. While these behaviors are harmless on their own, they can pave the way for other manipulative and controlling behaviors that come with narcissistic abuse.
It is important to remember that your choices and opinions matter at every stage of a relationship. If someone is encouraging you to move faster than you are comfortable with, take a step back and communicate your feelings and needs to find common ground.
You Are on Edge Around Your Partner
Though someone with NPD can come off as charming, they can also quickly turn rude, self-centered, and manipulative. Even if you do not notice these changes outright, your body and your mind may have different reactions to your partner’s behavior shift. Pay attention to what you think and feel around your partner. Do you feel on edge or stressed when they walk into the room? Do you fret about how they are feeling or how they are going to react to your presence? These are signs of narcissistic abuse.
Being around your partner should make you feel safe and valued, not afraid and unwanted. If you notice these feelings, it is time to dig deeper into the issue and make choices that are best for you, your safety, and your emotional well-being.
Your Wants and Needs Always Come Second
Individuals with NPD believe that they are inherently superior. They act arrogantly and fixate on their own importance, intelligence, success, power, and attractiveness. Your partner might belittle or undermine you, ignore your wants and needs, or disregard your accomplishments. They might also talk down to you and treat you as if you are not worth their time, energy, or attention. Being around them might make you feel like you are inferior or that you always come second to them.
You deserve to feel valued in your relationships. Everyone goes through periods where they must focus on themselves, but you deserve a partner who ultimately roots for you and gives you the attention you deserve. Your relationship is a partnership, and you should feel like you are on equal ground with each other every step of the way.
You Constantly Second-Guess Yourself
Individuals with NPD are excellent at manipulating others. They want everyone to think, speak, and act in a certain way to validate their own thoughts and feelings. They often disregard your thoughts and emotions as a way to manipulate and exert power over you.
Your partner might invalidate your feelings and tell you that you are overreacting or too sensitive. They might also lie about past conversations and experiences as a way to escape blame and avoid taking responsibility. You might find yourself doubting your own memories, ignoring your own feelings, and apologizing for situations where the other person is at fault.
Social Isolation
Feelings of isolation are a common sign that something is wrong in your relationship. With narcissistic abuse, it is common for the abuser to interfere with your job and friendships. They might also discourage you from pursuing hobbies and relationships that make you more independent. They want you to rely on them because it feeds their sense of self-importance and makes you easier to manipulate.
You might also feel like your relationship with your abuser takes up most of your time and energy. This aspect makes it harder to maintain relationships with friends and family or put more effort into your professional life and relationships. Pay attention to your other relationships and overall independence. While your partner should be a companion, they cannot be the only important person in your life. If you rely solely on them for support and company, it is time for a change.
Financial Abuse
Financial abuse occurs when someone else has control over your financial resources and does not allow you to access money without their explicit approval. It can be difficult to create financial independence and stability with someone else dictating your financial decisions, which, in turn, creates challenges when you attempt to leave the relationship.
In situations of narcissistic abuse, your partner might encourage you to merge your financial accounts early on. Over time, they slowly take over financial control until you no longer have easy access to your own money. Isolating you from your job, friends, and family can also contribute to financial abuse and make you more dependent on your partner. While creating joint bank accounts can be a healthy idea for relationships, it is important to maintain clear communication over your finances. Make sure you always have access to your own money so that you can remain independent and take care of yourself.
You Do Not Always Recognize Your Partner
Individuals with NPD can have drastic changes in mood and behavior. They are sweet and charming one moment, then bitter and manipulative the next. As time goes on, you might wonder what happened to the person you fell in love with. You might even see glimpses of that kind, charming person you initially thought they were. This confusing behavior makes it harder to spot the signs of narcissistic abuse. You might continue to hope that this is just a bad period of time and that your relationship is salvageable.
At the end of the day, though, a healthy relationship does not involve manipulation, disrespect, and invalidation. You deserve a partner who is honest and respectful. Moreover, you deserve a relationship where both you and your partner put in equal effort to support each other and grow together. Do not ignore red flags, even if there are moments when things seem to get better. If you notice these signs of narcissistic abuse, it is time to get help.
Mental Health Treatment at Blair Wellness Group
If you or someone you know is suffering from NPD or narcissistic abuse, there is always hope. Blair Wellness Group offers comprehensive, evidence-based treatment for Narcissistic Personality Disorder and other Mental Health Conditions.
If you need intervention or treatment from a therapist in Los Angeles, Irvine, Beverly Hills, Newport Beach, Bel Air, Century City, Brentwood, Westwood, Huntington Beach, Mission Viejo, Aliso Viejo, and the surrounding areas, contact Blair Wellness Group to see how our evidence-based treatment plans can help you.
